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USB Blog

18 Jan 2013

Custom USB Sticks for Spies

Posted by mark on 18/01 | 0 comments
Custom USB Sticks for Spies

Spies! Secret Agents! Intelligence Officers! Err... Civil Servants! Data is your friend, and USB Trader is here to help you with your day-to-day needs. The Defence of the Realm is serious business, and we have serious tools to help you do your job.

We understand the need for you to carry large quantities of sensitive data and programme files in a discrete package that may also allow you to fire live sharks at your enemies. That is why we've produced what looks like an everyday USB memory stick (16 and 32GB models) that also fires live sharks at your enemies, while you say something pithy like "Fancy a bite?" Granted, we're still working on a way of carrying the sharks, but it's a work-in-progress.

And we're particularly proud of this one: It may look like a traditional half-inch sniper's round, and that's mainly because it is - apart from the USB connector at the sharp end. Any halfway competent marksman will be able to fire this little beauty into the USB port of a desktop computer from a range of up to two miles.

Then it'll download any programme you see fit, or simply transmit the contents of the hard drive back to base. And yes, we know what you're thinking: There's a tiny parachute at the back to slow the thing down. Then there's the old standby: The USB drive built into the sole of your shoe. Take your shoe off, plug it in to any available port, and you've got 1TB of memory at your disposal. And to get round the fact that you might now be in enemy territory in your socks, we've developed this: the custom shape USB flash drive that folds out into an emergency shoe in case you're using your other shoe as a USB drive. We've thought of everything.

Finally, and just in case you find yourself at the centre of a true crisis from which there is no escape, we've also got a drive that contains cocktail recipes and everything you need to make that final Martini cocktail (Shaken, not stirred) before it all goes dark. Also, it comes with a jet pack, phased plasma rifles and the latest Jaguar car. Just don't drink and drive, because we're rather proud of our Executive Spy Package. Please Note: Orders from villains, terrorists, super-villains and members of The Axis of Evil may not be honoured. We are unable to fulfil orders addressed to undersea bases.

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